Self- Doubt

I have such high expectations for myself but at the same time I don't think they're feasible. So much for confidence..

I'm looking at MBA degrees. The ideal would be for me to attend the Rady School of Management at UCSD but upon reviewing their lookbook.. I don't think it's for me. I don't feel smart enough, experienced enough, or mature enough to be placed in the likes of Biogen Idec, Burnham, Hewlett Packard, Invitrogen, Morgan Stanley, Qualcomm, etc etc etc!! Backup plan is Brandman University which I think I can skid by on acceptance but the downfall is that the degree is only offered online.

Why do I even want an MBA? Is higher education really the career path I hope to lend myself to? Do I really want to be a part time professor? What can a degree in Organizational Leadership do for me?

So many questions.. I have goals but right now none of them make sense.

I've gotten so far as to find a full time job. My next step is taking the GRE.. but for what? Then afterwards.. what? Timeline wise I know I want to start my MBA this Fall 2010 which should take me through Spring 2012.. enough time to gain great experience and connections at UCSD. In the meantime.. come Fall 2011, I will begin my applications to colleges in the East Coast for a Masters in Higher Education which I hope to begin in Fall 2012. Is that crazy? That degree should take me through Spring 2014... then I get married, have kids, and live happily ever after in debt.

Hence...

Melissa Mae Medina, MBA, M.Ed., Ph.D.